Child-On-Child Sexual Abuse: Can You Relate?
In our society, we often hear of sexual behavior between children referred to as “playing doctor,” and while there’s tons of literature that recognizes it for what it is – child-on-child abuse – there’s still many who’d prefer to view it as curiosity and innocent exploration.
It’s “easier” that way– no need to dig deeper and ask the question “But where did my child learn to do that?” or “How did I learn to do that?”
However, even if something is normalized, it doesn’t make it NORMAL.
Curiosity IS normal when it comes to a child wondering and asking about how their body works.
It’s NOT normal when they’re engaging in sexual acts. It had to of been learned in some way, shape, or form.
For me, I’d experienced sexual abuse from more than one adult and even from other children (who, of course, had to of learned it elsewhere), so given how rampant it was throughout my childhood, it's no surprise that I would then do the same, thinking that's just how kids played behind closed doors.
When I had the awareness that it was harmful while still very young, it brought me suffocating feelings of guilt and shame that I lived with for over 20 years. It wasn’t until I dove deep into healing my mind, body, and spirit from a lifetime of unrest that I was able to finally and fully let those feelings go and accept that, not only was none of it my fault, but that I was already doing the best thing I could possibly do: HEALING.
Through healing my body of the stress I'd been carrying for decades, the chronic pain that had manifested as a result, the drug addiction that had numbed me out, and through freeing myself of any toxic patterns that would cause me to fail to protect my own future children, I could finally BREAK THE CYCLE of abuse, pain, and suffering.
As a society, we need to be okay with calling child-on-child sexual “play” what it REALLY is: sexual abuse.
If we participated in this as children, it does NOT mean we should harbor feelings of guilt or shame. In fact, we need to do the work to release those feelings and to HEAL so we can live full, beautiful lives that allow us to better nurture and protect future generations.
– Malana
4/12/25
This post was originally published on Instagram after surveying my followers to see who else had experienced child-on-child sexual abuse, and I turned those responses into a reel. This topic was also part of a series of posts (1, 2, 3) that I'd published over the course of a few days. I was already connected to many women who were aware of and healing from their childhood trauma, so I received DOZENS of responses. I highly recommend taking a look at the original post and reading the series– it may unlock something in you that's been waiting to be set free.
