The Amount of Fear You Feel Around Facing the Possibility of Sexual Abuse Doesn’t Even Compare to the Amount of JOY Waiting for You Once You Heal!

Never in a million years would I have thought that JOY could be equated with something as grisly as the topic of sexual abuse.

But yesterday, it really hit me.

I’d just walked to the beach and sat down, ready to continue with a fascinating book about repressed memories.

I had the sun on my face and the perfect song in my ears when I spotted a little girl with bright blonde hair– just like mine when I was her age.

She was running back and forth from the ocean to the sand, so wild, free, and full of LIFE and LIGHT, and all I could do was smile wide and close my eyes to let myself take it all in.

Tears started running down my face as I experienced wave after wave of deep emotion.

I felt so happy, so grateful, so PRESENT, and I thought “This moment exists because I faced my abuse. I got here, to this place, to this new life I’m building, to this JOY, because I faced my abuse, and I healed it.”

I also thought “I hope no one ever hurts that little girl. I hope no one already has.”

Because I know the statistics.

I know how widespread and underreported sexual abuse is.

I know it’s more likely that a person HAS been sexually abused than not.

I know how soul-shattering and life-destroying it is– how it dims that spark of light in everyone it touches.

And I know that getting to the other side is a MIRACLE.

For me, that looks like no more drug addiction, night terrors, sexual shame, abusive partners, chronic physical pain, or intrusive images and flashbacks.

I faced my fear of knowing the truth of my life, worked through the thick of it, and was met with a new lease on life– one I never thought possible for myself.

Sexual abuse. It’s the silent killer no one wants to talk about yet impacts all of us in some way, directly or indirectly.

If we did - if we all had the courage to face this ugly truth - the world would be full of A LOT more joy.

And if you have even the slightest inkling, I hope you do.

Because that’s when life can really begin– the beautiful, happy, peaceful one you’ve always wished for deep down.

– Malana

(The Book: Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse)